May 20
I put a good deal on paper yesterday, and yet not all. I was, in truth, hoping against hope, against conviction, against too conscious self-judgement. I scarcely dare own the truth now, yet it relieves my aching heart to set it down. Yes, I love him that is the dreadful fact, and I can no longer parry, evade, or deny it to myself, though to the rest of the world it can never be owned……
—Alicia’s Diary Thomas Hardy
五月二十日
我昨天写了很多，但却不是全部。实际上，我总是希望违背希望，违背信念，违背太自觉的自我批判。我现在几乎不敢承认这个事实，然而它却减轻我痛苦的心，使他安抚下来。是的，我爱他，那是可怕的事实，而且我不能够再躲开、逃避，或者是对自己否认，虽然对世界上的其他人而言，这项事实是永远不会被承认的……
—《爱莉雪的日记》，托姆斯哈代
Spring
