Football March For Gorilla
At a football match one day a man tried to get into the game with a gorilla.“Look ”said a copper, “I saw you with him yesterday and told you to take him to the zoo.”
“Yes I did that, and then we went to the cinema and had a meal. So today I thought he might like to see a football match.”
大猩猩看足球比赛
有个人带着一只大猩猩去看足球比赛，被站在英语培训学校旁边的一位警察撞见了。警察便说：“昨天我就看到你带着大猩猩，我不是告诉你把它带到动物园去吗？”
那人答道路：“我去过了，然后又带它去了电影院，然后一块儿吃了顿饭。我想今天该带它看一场足球比赛了。”
The Hard Rats
Three rats are relaxing in a bar. After a few jugs they start talking about how tough they are. The first rat says,” When I woke up there was a matchbox of Rat-o-kill outside my hole. I ate the whole lot and didn’t feel a thing.”
After a signficant pause and a few more glasses, the second rat chips in,” “When I got up this morning, there was an enormous rat trap with a huge piece of prime cheese for bait. I stepped in , caught the bar on my back, ate the cheese and then slipped out without even a bruise.”
At this, the third rat gets up and heads for the door.
“Where are you going.” Ask the two other rats.
“Aw, I’m bored here. Think I’ll go home and shag the cat again.
大话老鼠
三只老鼠在酒吧里喝酒，几杯下肚，便忍不住开吹起来。第一只老鼠说：“今天早上我起床时发现洞口有满满一火柴盒的灭鼠灵。我一口气把它都吃光了，可居然什么事儿都没有。”
不知不觉中又喝了几杯。第二只老鼠说道路：“今天早上我起床时，发现洞口有一个巨大的捕鼠器，上面还有一大块乳酪。我丝毫也不畏惧，一下就跳了进去，一边用手撑着夹子，一边把乳酪吃得一干二净，然后从夹下退出来，却也毫发未损。”
这时候，第三只老鼠站起身来就要往门外走。
“你要去哪儿？”另两只老鼠问道。
“是这样，”老鼠说，“我感到有点厌了。还是回家逗逗猫更好玩。“
